Handcuff Report, Week 5: An Artis-Payne-ful Week to Watch

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If you think that headline is bad, the other one I considered was "Seeing the Forsett for the Trees." And if you don't like making a pun out of a phrase that is at least a few centuries old, then I don't know what to do for you. Oh well, maybe you and I are just not meant to be. It's not easy coming up with running back puns every week based on fantasy relevance. Sometimes you have to dig deep and get weird with it. Before we get down to business, everybody, pour a little out for the homie Justin Forsett. This dude has had a rough couple months. Forsett got cut at the end of the preseason, got resigned a week later and STARTED week one, got benched in week four, and now—as if watching Terrance West go off for 100+ yards on Sunday wasn’t hard enough—just got released on Tuesday. His release has been described as a mutual parting, with Forsett hoping to get an opportunity with another team, but this is still a tough run for a running back who turns 31 in less than two weeks. Now that we have that out of the way, has everyone finished cursing the name of John Kuhn? While Mark Ingram owners received a solid day and a touchdown from him, they had to watch John Kuhn vulture not one, not two, not three—OK, it was three—touchdowns on the day (I’ll never forgive myself for linking to that clip). I’ll pause here while you break things around your house, as I probably brought this back up just as you were starting to forget about it. Kuhn was easily the biggest surprise on Sunday. And now, to the report…

Handcuff Report, Week 5: An Artis-Payne-ful Week to Watch

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